Tuesday, December 4, 2012
I want to brag a little!!!
So I originally made this blog to kind of give who ever read it an inside look into the scary life of dealing with BPD. I did a poor job of keeping up with making current post so there isnt a lot of insight here, because I did not make this blog with intentions for people to feel sorry for me I did not make a lot of post! But I am hoping to start a new chapter, I want to explain now on how beautiful life can be through someone who suffers from BPD! I am convinced that things in life, experiences, and emotions are way more vivid through my eyes then in most other peoples, the bad thing is, is that I am not poetic enough to truly explain my perception on things! 2012 has been the best year in 6-7 years, and not only the best but really the only good year out of the past at least 6-7 years. I have been working on who I am as a person extremely hard and I am finally excited about the man I am becoming and this is what I want to start sharing!
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
I have good news and bad news!
As usual I have not posted in FOREVER, however I feel like I have a couple of important things to talk about!
We will start on a good note. Sunday November 4, 2012 at 11:03 am my sister Elizabeth gave birth to my new nephew Henry Allen Benfield. He was 6lb 14oz and 20" long. I am very excited that her pregnancy is over and we now have a healthy baby boy to teach and guide through life. I can not wait to take him as well as my other nephew Vincent camping, fishing, hunting, get them a mini bike, tell them things I did wrong and my regrets so they can hopefully avoid some though times and also show them how to see the beauty that still exist in this ugly world, and most importantly teach them to be a Godly man although I need to work on this myself. I know both my sisters and brother in laws will do a great job raising both their boys but I want to be just as good of an influence outside of the house as the examples they are being shown inside. I have watched Vincent grow and develop a personality from his days of sitting in a bumbo seat looking like a bobble head doll and I am looking forward to watch Henry do the same and then continue to watch them develop into the awesome men I know they will become! We have many great times and adventures to come and I can not wait!
Now to talk about a scary subject. Yesterday was election day for our country and Obama came out on top for another four year term. To be honest this scare the shit out of me!!! Me being 24 and single and still at home, the next four years of my life are bound to be the biggest years of my life! Beings I want more from life than where I am at now sometime in the next four years I will most likely "fall in love", possibly become married, buy a house, start thinking of having a family, etc.... These are big steps in life and some huge decisions to be made and it terrifies me to think that if all this happens in the next four years that it will happen under Obama. If our country continues in this downward spiral not only will I not be able to take care of myself but there is no way I could ever buy a house or take care of a family. I will be 28 before we have a new president and that is really scary! I guess I have to give it all to God and hope for the best. My age group is a large contributor to putting Obama back into office and we are the ones who is going to suffer from it! Lord help America!
We will start on a good note. Sunday November 4, 2012 at 11:03 am my sister Elizabeth gave birth to my new nephew Henry Allen Benfield. He was 6lb 14oz and 20" long. I am very excited that her pregnancy is over and we now have a healthy baby boy to teach and guide through life. I can not wait to take him as well as my other nephew Vincent camping, fishing, hunting, get them a mini bike, tell them things I did wrong and my regrets so they can hopefully avoid some though times and also show them how to see the beauty that still exist in this ugly world, and most importantly teach them to be a Godly man although I need to work on this myself. I know both my sisters and brother in laws will do a great job raising both their boys but I want to be just as good of an influence outside of the house as the examples they are being shown inside. I have watched Vincent grow and develop a personality from his days of sitting in a bumbo seat looking like a bobble head doll and I am looking forward to watch Henry do the same and then continue to watch them develop into the awesome men I know they will become! We have many great times and adventures to come and I can not wait!
Now to talk about a scary subject. Yesterday was election day for our country and Obama came out on top for another four year term. To be honest this scare the shit out of me!!! Me being 24 and single and still at home, the next four years of my life are bound to be the biggest years of my life! Beings I want more from life than where I am at now sometime in the next four years I will most likely "fall in love", possibly become married, buy a house, start thinking of having a family, etc.... These are big steps in life and some huge decisions to be made and it terrifies me to think that if all this happens in the next four years that it will happen under Obama. If our country continues in this downward spiral not only will I not be able to take care of myself but there is no way I could ever buy a house or take care of a family. I will be 28 before we have a new president and that is really scary! I guess I have to give it all to God and hope for the best. My age group is a large contributor to putting Obama back into office and we are the ones who is going to suffer from it! Lord help America!
Monday, January 30, 2012
What is happining???
Over the last 2 months and even more this past month I have started to notice that I am having a very hard time speaking. I seem to mumble and stutter a lot. This is getting worse and worse on almost a daily basis. Another big problem is I found myself repeating myself over and over in both actions but mostly in speech. It takes me SOOO long to tell a story now because I continue to back track in my story and repeat parts that I have already told. I also do this with my actions a lot too now, I cant think of a good example right now but I will leterally do the same thing twice. One other thing that I have found to be very noticable is my memory. My memory seems to be getting worse on a daily basis. It has gotten very bad recently!!! I have no clue to what is responsible for this all I know is it sucks!
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