Greatful

Its funny sometimes how things line up in life to ether work against you or for you.  For example I have had a fairly rough couple of weeks.  What started my "downward spiral" is irrelevant, however at the time this took place for the first week we had constant rain and if it wasnt rainy it was cloudy, so no sun.  As we all know a rainy or cloudy day can make for a "sad" day for anyone but it with what else I had going on it kick started a depression! I stayed strong not allowing myself to vent but so much and pushed through it.  I only had a couple close friends ask if I was ok because only they could tell i was a little off.  With that being said it is also funny to me how things can line up for the good. Over the weekend after being on a mental roller coaster for 2 weeks I had some close friends make sure they got me out of the house to shoot guns, and go out for dinner...etc... Some of my friends where in from out of town so that was a plus, the weather was nice, and it seemed like everywhere I went I was getting complements from all kinds of people about everything from my hair to my shirt or my personality, just anything really.  It all kinda felt staged like one of my friends must have been giving these random people $5 when I wasnt looking and telling them to "go tell that poor bastard something nice" hahaha Whatever was going on I needed it and ended up having a great weekend! So yes after things being so good for so long I had a "slump" however I did not lock myself away for days/weeks nor was it just out of the blue.  Anyone Bipolar or not would have struggled with my internal conflict at the time and recognizing that "my episode" was not far off the "norm" or my feelings where not but so exaggerated to make it much, if any worse than the feelings of a "normal person" and that I am grateful for!!!       

Staying Positive

So as you all know there are some scary things going on in this world and right here in our own country like the back to back mass murders and the hypocritical and selfish people running this country.  The media tends to highlight all of this therefor it is always in plain sight, every time the tv comes on or I get online to check my email it is all in plain view!  I try not to think about all of this to often because I catch myself grieving over people lost as well as the lost of the integrity of our nations "leaders"! I can work myself up straight into a depression that will last for days just by thinking of some of this.  The reason I bring this up is to say although there is so much evil that surrounds all of us everyday and especially considering that I allow myself to get so wound up about it I am doing really well! I FEEL GREAT! Of course I have my bad days but that is normal.  Recently I have kept a positive mind and when things have gone wrong or gotten a little rough, instead of letting them overwhelm me and drag me into depression I have been able to push through and continue to see what good I have going for me!  The things that have recently kept me going is my family, friends (one special one in particular ;-) ) my job, and simply the love for life that I have recently found again!